Working towards faith

Pushing forward and letting go

Faith. That’s the theme of the week. It feels timely, not just because of the season, though spring always brings renewal.

Photo by Jan Canty on Unsplash

This week, Maureen and I will officially launch our first TIMBo circle, and I could not be more excited. We’re holding space for some incredible women, each of whom I know in some way. I’m honored that they are trusting us with their stories, their time, and their presence. It feels like the beginning of something powerful.

We’ve been preparing for this for a very long time. . .the work we’re stepping into is deep. And that word work has been on my mind lately.

When Dan and I first got together, we used to argue about the word work. For me, it has always meant something life fulfilling, brimming with purpose. Work is what moves us forward in life. It’s how we engage with this one precious life.

But for Dan, the word meant drudgery and obligation.

I’d say “work” and light up. He’d groan. I’d ask, “Don’t you want to live life to the fullest?” and he’d say, “Exactly.” Cue the fight.

Eventually, we figured out that we were just using the same word to mean two very different things. If you know Dan, you know how much he actually loves purposeful forward motion. He just doesn’t call it work.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I’ve made the “work” of TIMBo sound heavier than it is. Maybe I haven’t talked enough about the joy of it. The way it opens doors, softens hearts, and reconnects us to ourselves.

For me, this is joyful work. It’s both tender and challenging, as well as powerful and life-giving.

Why It’s Worth It

Here are a few things that changed for me after going through the TIMBo program:

I stopped yelling at my kids in a way that made them afraid of me. More than that, I started seeing them, spending time with them in meaningful purposeful ways. I am more and more available to receive the precious gift of time with these three beautiful and amazing girls.

I started truly listening to the people around me instead of just waiting for my turn to speak.

I stopped constantly searching for the thing that was wrong with me and actually started believing the kind things people said.

I stopped living in a constant state of fear. I learned to trust myself and notice when I needed care.

My body stopped hurting all the time. This one is big. I’ve lived with chronic pain my entire adult life. For the first time ever, I’m not in pain every day.

And it wasn’t magic. It didn’t happen overnight. But it happened. And it’s still happening. That’s the thing about healing, once it starts, it doesn’t end. Growth becomes a way of life.

Sure, as I get stronger, the old wounds sometimes show up more clearly. But I meet them differently now. It's harder to knock me off my mark. I have better tools and resources.

Photo by Barrie Johnson on Unsplash

Working with faith

These past few weeks have been a challenge. Launching this first circle brought up a lot. I thought it would be easier to find people. I figured we’d fill the group quickly, even at a modest price to offset the time and money we’ve invested over the last 18 months.

But it didn’t go that way. Some people said cost was a barrier. Maureen and I had to stop and ask—what matters most?

This circle mattered. To us, to our path, to the change we know it makes possible, to the work we feel called to do. So we dropped the money barrier. We hosted an info session. Four beautiful women came.

We said we needed at least six. That felt like the minimum for creating a safe, vibrant group. So I reached out to people. I followed up. I tried again.

And it worked.

Now we have seven amazing women. The perfect seven, really. And I am so grateful. They are trusting us with their stories and their presence for 90 minutes a week. What a gift.

Faith in Action

That’s where faith comes back in. After all that worry, all the what-ifs and not-enoughs, here we are. The group came together.

I wish I had trusted it sooner. Trusted that what’s meant to be, will be.

Then again, maybe that uncertainty served a purpose. Maybe it gave me the push to hustle, to adapt, to keep showing up. Maybe that tension between faith and effort is the whole point.

Faith doesn’t mean sitting back and waiting. It means doing your part. And then letting go.

If someone said no, or didn’t respond, it just wasn’t their time. And that’s okay.

What’s here now is exactly what’s supposed to be.

There is no failure.

Unless... You’re Meant to Be Here Too

Unless you’ve been on the fence.

Because we still have room in our circle. We’re hosting an orientation this Wednesday morning (the 23rd). We’ll talk through the program, answer questions, and practice some gentle yoga and meditation together. Sign up here.

If you’re curious, if something in your body is saying “maybe,” I hope you’ll listen.

You’re invited too.

In faith,

Hannah B